In his book Magic Words, Jonah Berger explores the science behind language and its practical applications in our lives.
He focuses on six types of “magic words” that can help us be more persuasive, build stronger relationships, and increase our personal and professional success.
Let’s look at each in turn.
The SPEACC Framework
1. Similarity
Berger talks about the importance of how we communicate and the impact it has on various aspects of our lives. He mentions that linguistic similarity, or how similar our language is to others, plays a significant role in determining outcomes such as promotions, firings, and the success of songs, books, and movies. To make the most of similarity, we must signal similarity by using familiar and fitting language when it’s beneficial or when we want to fit in.
On the other hand, he also highlights the advantages of differentiation, especially in jobs that value creativity and innovation. Additionally, when presenting information or creating content, Berger suggests considering the progression of ideas. For entertainment purposes, starting slowly and gradually increasing excitement can be effective, while for informative purposes, a slower pace that covers more ground is better.
2. Post Questions
“Questions help us collect information,” writes Berger. “But they also communicate things about us, direct the flow of conversations, and build social bonds. Consequently, we must understand which questions to ask and when to ask them.”
Berger then discusses the importance of asking the right questions and provides five guidelines. He mentions that asking for advice helps us gain useful insights and make us appear smarter and that follow-up questions are valuable as they show our interest and willingness to learn more.
Furthermore, Berger advises that, when faced with an unfair question, we can deflect it by asking a related question to help steer the conversation in a different direction while protecting our privacy.
Encouraging reciprocal self-disclosure is crucial to building deeper social connections, starting with safe topics and gradually moving towards more personal ones. Above all, we must avoid assumptions when seeking potentially negative information from others.
3. Emotion
This chapter provides several strategies to leverage the power of emotions and become a more effective communicator. Firstly, Berger suggests highlighting hurdles and sharing past shortcomings, as this can make people like us more, not less, when we are already seen as competent.
Secondly, Berger advises building a roller coaster in our stories by blending highs and lows, as talking about failures along the way makes successes even more satisfying. He recommends mixing up moments to hold people’s attention and considering the context in which we use emotional language.
He also suggests connecting with the person before solving problems and using warmer and more emotional language to set the stage for cognitive discussions. Berger concludes the chapter by explaining how evoking uncertain emotions, such as surprise, can keep people engaged.
4. Agency
Words have the power to influence and encourage certain actions. Using the identity language, we can motivate ourselves and others to take desired actions. One way to do this is by turning actions into identities. For instance, instead of asking for help, we can ask someone to be a helper. This framing encourages people to align their actions with their desired identities.
Berger also suggests changing “can’t” to “don’t” when facing challenges or temptations. Saying “I don’t” instead of “I can’t” empowers us and improves our chances of achieving our goals. Similarly, replacing “should” with “could” promotes creative thinking and helps us break from routine.
Talking to ourselves in the third person can reduce anxiety and enhance performance in stressful situations. The choice of pronouns, such as “I” and “you,” is also important as they can affect how others perceive responsibility and blame. As Berger writes, “[Pronouns] can draw attention and take ownership, but they also suggest responsibility and blame.”
5. Confidence
Words also shape how we are perceived and the impact of our communication. Berger advises that if we want to be perceived more positively and increase our impact, we should avoid using words that suggest uncertainty, such as “may,” “could,” and “in my opinion.” Instead, we should use definitive language like “definitely,” “clearly,” and “obviously” to convey confidence and present our statements as irrefutable truths.
Berger also encourages minimizing hesitations like “ums” and “uhs” to maintain confidence and using the present tense to signal certainty (e.g., “I love that book” instead of “I loved that book.”). However, he notes that expressing doubt can be helpful in certain situations to demonstrate open-mindedness. By using these confident language techniques, we can showcase our expertise, openness to opposing viewpoints and persuade others.
6. Concreteness
In this chapter, Berger discusses the importance of using concrete language to effectively communicate and connect with others. When we communicate using high-level, abstract terms, we often miss the mark and fail to make ourselves understood.
To show that we’re listening and to make people feel heard, it’s essential to be concrete by providing specific details and using words that create vivid mental images. In other words, use phrases that listeners can see in their minds.
When we emphasize power or growth potential, abstract language can be more effective, focusing on the “why” behind something. Overall, the language of concreteness helps us make ourselves understood, make others feel heard, and deepen engagement with our communication.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Jonah Berger’s Magic Words provides a compelling framework for understanding the science behind language and its practical applications in our lives.
The SPEACC Framework, consisting of six types of “magic words,” can help us be more persuasive, build stronger relationships, and increase our personal and professional success.
Whether you want to improve your communication skills, inspire and influence others, or better understand the power of language, this book is a must-read.
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