In life, it’s not the events that shape our lives and determine how we think, feel, and act. Rather, it’s the way we interpret and evaluate our experiences.
As Ryan Holiday writes, “There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.”
Our evaluations, though irrational at times, are not random—instead, they’re a result of asking and answering questions. (If you disagree, you needed to ask yourself, “Is that true?”)
In truth, if you want to change the quality of your life, it’s not enough to “get motivated” or “practice positive thinking”; you need to change the habitual questions you ask yourself.
Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.
—Anthony Robbins
More specifically, you need to ask yourself quality questions—questions that empower and equip you to make better, more rational decisions, solve problems, and communicate more effectively.
This page shares a complete list of quality questions I’ve gathered from reading more than 100 of the best non-fiction books of all time. You’ll find more than 100 quality questions, organized by category.
Last Updated: August 15th, 2021.
Quality Questions: A Complete List
This page is thorough. To make it easier to navigate, I’ve broken it down into sections. Click a link below to jump to a particular section:
- How to Solve Problems
- How to Overcome Fear
- How to Be More Productive
- How to Break a Bad Habit
- How to Set and Achieve Goals
- How to Feel Better About Yourself
- How to Be a Better Communicator
- How to Think More Clearly
- How to Foster Passion
- How to Make Decisions
How to Solve Problems
i. The Problem Solving Questions (Source: Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins)
When encountering an obstacle, ask yourself:
- What is great about this problem?
- What is not perfect yet?
- What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
- What am I willing to no longer do to make it the way I want it?
- How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?
ii. Other Problem Solving Questions
- What if I could only subtract to solve problems? (Source: Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss)
- What’s good about this problem? What can I learn from this? (Source: Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins)
- What if I did the opposite for 48 hours? (Source: Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss)
- “What am I choosing to not see right now?’ What important things are you missing because you chose worry over introspection, alertness or wisdom?” (Source: Gavin de Becker quoted in The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday)
- “Does what happened keep you from acting with justice, generosity, self-control, sanity, prudence, honesty, humility, straightforwardness?” (Source: The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday)
- Got a situation? Pretend it’s not happening to you, it’s not important, and that it doesn’t matter. Ask yourself, “How much easier would it be for me to know what to do? How much more quickly and dispassionately could I size up the scenario and its options?” (Source: The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday)
- “Is this permanent? Is this pervasive? Is this personal?” (Source: To Sell Is Human by Daniel H. Pink)
- Considering giving up? Ask yourself, “Is the pain of the Dip worth the benefit of the light at the end of the tunnel?” (Source: The Dip by Seth Godin)
- Try to imagine some of the consequences of not trying hard to complete your project. Ask yourself, “How will you feel if you give up? What will it mean to other people? How much will you regret it in the future?” (Source: Spark by Dr. Jeremy Dean)
- A good rule of thumb when asking probing questions or open-ended ones is to ask yourself, “What’s the most likely way I could fail to get the right information in this situation?” (Source: Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath)
How to Overcome Fear
i. Fear-Setting (Source: The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss)
When making a life-changing, ask yourself:
- What is the worst case scenario if I did what I’m considering?
- What are all the things I could do to minimize that from happening?
- If the worst-case scenario happened, what steps could I take to repair the damage?
ii. Other Fear-Setting Questions
- What would I attempt to do if I knew I could not fail? (Source: Dr. Robert Schuller, quoted in Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins)
- Why are my insides twisted into knots? Am I in control here or is my anxiety? And most important: Is my anxiety doing me any good?” (Source: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday)
How to Be More Productive
- If I could only work 2 hours per week on my business, what would I do? (Source: Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss)
- To determine whether you’re being productive, ask yourself, “Is what I am doing, this minute, moving me measurably closer to my goals?” (Source: No B.S. Time Management for Entrepreneurs by Dan Kennedy)
- What’s the ONE Thing I can do today for [whatever you want] such that by doing it everything else will be easier or even unnecessary? (Source: The ONE Thing by Gary Keller)
- To deliberately distinguish the vital few activities from the trivial many, ask yourself, “Will this activity or effort make the highest possible contribution towards my goal?” (Source: Essentialism by Greg McKeown)
- Give up social media for one month. After thirty days, ask yourself the following two questions, “Would the last thirty days have been notably better if I had been able to use this service? Did people care that I wasn’t using this service?” (Source: Deep Work by Cal Newport)
- Before procrastinating on an activity, ask yourself, “Why is [this activity] important to me? What benefit is there in making the effort now? How will this help me achieve my goal?” (Source: The Procrastination Puzzle by Timothy A. Pychyl)
- When feeling resistance, ask yourself, “What does the resistance feel like? Is there a way to accept the thing you’re resisting, accept the discomfort, relax into it, and find gratitude for it? What is good about the discomfort?” (Source: Essential Zen Habits by Leo Babauta)
- “Of any activity you do, ask yourself, If I were the last person on earth, would I still do it?” (Source: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield)
- When you’re processing an item, ask yourself, “What is it?” and, “Is it actionable?” (Source: Getting Things Done by David Allen)
- If an action will take longer than two minutes, ask yourself, “Am I the right person to do this?” If the answer is no, delegate it to the appropriate entity. (Source: Getting Things Done by David Allen)
- Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, “Is this necessary?” (Source: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius)
- “What’s the smallest step I can take to be more efficient?” (Source: One Small Step Can Change Your Life by Robert Maurer)
How to Break a Bad Habit
- What bad habit did I curb today? How am I better? Were my actions just? How can I improve?” (Source: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday)
- “When you crave something or contemplate indulging in a “harmless” vice, ask yourself, “Is that really worth it? Is it really that pleasurable?” (Source: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday)
How to Set and Achieve Goals
- What’s necessary to believe in order to achieve? (Source: Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins)
- Who is already succeeding in this area, and what do they believe differently than I do about what’s possible? (Source: Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins)
- What would this look like if it were easy? (Source: Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss)
- What realistic progress can [I] make [toward my goal] in the next day, week, or month? (Source: Smarter Faster Better by Charles Duhigg)
- “What is one small step I could take toward reaching my goal?” (Source: One Small Step Can Change Your Life by Robert Maurer)
- To reconnect with your purpose, ask yourself, “What is the why underneath what I am doing?” (Source: The Success Principles by Jack Canfield)
- What am I willing to suffer for? (Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson)
- To identify milestones, ask yourself, “What’s inherently motivating? What would be worth celebrating that might only take a few weeks or months of work? What’s a hidden accomplishment that is worth surfacing and celebrating? (Source: The Power of Moments by Chip &; Dan Heath)
How to Feel Better About Yourself
i. The Morning Power Questions (Source: Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins)
At the end of each day, Anthony Robbins ask himself these questions:
- What have I learned today?
- What did I contribute or improve?
- What did I enjoy?
ii. Other Empowering Questions
- Is this [emotion] actually making me feel better? Is this actually relieving any of the symptoms I wish were gone? (Source: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday)
- When feeling disempowered, ask yourself, “If I loved myself truly and deeply, would I let myself experience this [negative emotion]?” (Source: Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant)
- Stop yourself during the day as much as you can and ask yourself, “Am I practicing flower-like qualities and staying in the present with my thoughts and energies?” (Source: The Practicing Mind by Thomas Sterner)
- When feeling depressed, ask yourself, “What thoughts are going through my mind right now? What am I saying to myself? Why is this upsetting me?” (Source: Feeling Good by Dr. David D Burns)
- When feeling angry, ask yourself the following two questions, “Is my anger directed at someone who has knowingly, intentionally, and unnecessarily acted in a hurtful manner? Is my anger useful? Does it help me achieve the desired goal or does it simply defeat me?” (Source: Feeling Good by Dr. David D Burns)
- When comparing your business to others, ask yourself, “Why did I start doing what I’m doing in the first place, and what can I do to bring my cause to life considering all the technologies and market opportunities available today?’” (Source: Start with Why by Simon Sinek)
- For every action, ask yourself, “How does it affect me? Could I change my mind about it?” (Source: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius)
- “If you have it within your power to work twice as hard, why aren’t you doing it now?” (Source: Wooden by John Wooden)
How to Be a Better Communicator
- When facing a political dispute or a personal disagreement, ask yourself, “Is there any reason to fight about this? Is arguing going to help solve anything?” (Source: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday)
- Before communicating with others, ask yourself, “Is what I am about to say going to advance the cause of my vision, mission, and goals? Will it uplift the hearer? Will it inspire, motivate, and create forward momentum? Will it dissolve fear and create safety and trust? Will it build self-esteem, self-confidence, and a willingness to risk and take action?” (Source: The Success Principles by Jack Canfield)
- Before trying to persuade someone to do something, ask yourself, “How can I make this person want to do it?” (Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie)
- When communicating with a partner, ask yourself, “What emotion is my spouse experiencing?” When you think you have the answer, confirm it. For example, “It sounds to me like you are feeling disappointed because I forgot.” (Source: The 5 Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman)
- If somebody’s annoying you, ask yourself, “What’s one good thing about this person?” (Source: One Small Step Can Change Your Life by Robert Maurer)
- When you’re in conflict with your partner, ask yourself, “What else could this mean?” (Source: Anthony Robbins, Get The Edge)
How to Think More Clearly
- To improve an irrational behavior, ask yourself, “How did it begin? Second, ask yourself, “What amount of pleasure will I be getting out of it. Is the pleasure as much as I thought I would get?” (Source: Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely)
- What if I’m wrong? (Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson)
- What would it mean if I were wrong? (Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson)
- Would being wrong create a better or a worse problem than my current problem, for both myself and others? (Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson)
How to Foster Passion
- What do I like to think about? (Source: Grit by Angela Duckworth)
- Where does my mind wander? (Source: Grit by Angela Duckworth)
- What do I really care about? (Source: Grit by Angela Duckworth)
- What matters most to me? (Source: Grit by Angela Duckworth)
- How do I enjoy spending my time? And, in contrast, what do I find absolutely unbearable? (Source: Grit by Angela Duckworth)
How to Make Decisions
When considering an option, ask yourself:
- What am I giving up by making this choice? (Source: Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath)
- Who else is struggling with a similar problem, and what can I learn from them? (Source: Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath)
- What would have to be true for this option to be the right answer? What if my least favorite option were actually the best one? What data might convince me of that? (Source: Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath)
Want More Good Quality Questions?
Sign up for my free weekly newsletter and get a full month’s worth of quality questions delivered straight to your inbox. Plus, a free copy of my new book, Directives. Just enter your email address and click “Get Updates.”