3 Lessons I Learned in 2019

In 2019, I changed the lens through which I view certain life experiences… 

And in this post, I want to share three of the biggest paradigm shifts I experienced as a result of making that change.

Lesson 1: Subtract Wasted Effort to Achieve More with Less Effort [1]

Old belief: “I’m a parent, so I don’t have time for [blank].” 

When I became a parent for the first time in 2018, I looked only at the things I could no longer do, such as: 

• Calling friends, spontaneously…
• Working on personal goals, uninterrupted for hours at a time…
• Watching movies, surfing online, sleeping in…

I was narrow-minded, selfish, even. Me. Me. Me. That’s all I cared about. 

But, in time, I acclimated to parenthood (as most new parents do). I realized what mattered. And I began to look at parenthood through a new lens…

New belief: “I’m a parent, so I only have time for [blank].”

Now, I have a NOT-to-do list. These are activities I’m avoiding, such as: 

• Spending time with people that bring me down
• Surfing online out of boredom
• Catastrophizing events over which I have no control

These, to quote Greg McKeown, are the non-essential activities that distract me from making the highest possible contribution to what matters, such as:

• Reading books that challenge, motivate, and inspire me
• Creating content that makes an impression on first-time readers
• Lifting weights
• Counting calories
• Collaborating with colleagues on projects that I’m excited to tell others about 
• Being a loving, caring father, friend, colleague, and more

These are some of the vital few activities that matter, that make a difference, that I’m proud of. I’m saying no to everything else. And I couldn’t be happier.

Lesson 2: Practice Due Diligence When Making Decisions

Old belief: “I made a mistake. And it’s costing me a fortune.”

In November 2018, I made plans to move from Sweden to Denmark. I’d been thinking about it for a while, and the time felt right.

I found an apartment, signed a rental agreement, bought furniture, and moved in.

Then, a week later, I had to move back to Sweden to contest an immigration issue (which I’ve since resolved).

The problem was, I didn’t translate the contract from Danish to English before signing…

And overlooked the fact that I couldn’t move out for 12-months. 

So, I found a new tenant and sublet the apartment, which offset some of the rent. 

But then, six months in, the tenant moved out after finding somewhere more affordable…

And I was back to square one. 

After struggling to find a suitable replacement, I decided to leave it unoccupied, safe in the knowledge that it would cause me fewer headaches for the remaining months.

Was it an expensive decision? Yes. Would I have saved more if I had sublet it again? Most definitely. But I made a decision. It put me back in the driving seat, and offered me a chance to reframe the experience into an advantage:

New belief: “I made a mistake. But it’s affording me a valuable learning lesson.”

I made a mistake. This is a fact; I can’t dispute that. I didn’t translate the contract, ask better questions, ask for a second opinion, search for a more flexible contract… 

But, in return, I gained a lot. I learned to practice due diligence when making big decisions. I also learned how to make better decisions, faster, when encountering similar problems.

It was an expensive lesson, that’s a given. But it’s also one that revealed the most to me. And that I can’t put a price on.

Lesson 3: Use Price Elasticity to Your Advantage 

Old belief: “You can’t sell a book for more than [blank].”

In April 2019, the Sleeknote Marketing department decided to write, publish, and market a book. 

As one can imagine, it was an enormous undertaking with countless tasks, and multiple team members collaborating to complete a shared goal. 

Yet, despite our alignment, there was one trivial detail on which we couldn’t agree…

Pricing.

“We should charge €30,” I argued, thinking I knew best. “Most people won’t spend more than that on a book.”

A few colleagues disagreed, however, positing that we needed to charge more, given the amount of value we were offering.

I wasn’t convinced, but after further coaxing, I budged, and we settled on what felt like the uncomfortable price of €97.

Then, in April, we launched our book. And I was stunned…

We made €7,410.80 ($8,219.50) during the first week alone.

After that outcome, I developed a new belief:

New belief: “You CAN sell a book for more than €30—if its positioned well enough.”

“There is no restriction on what people will pay; there is [sic] only self-imposed limits, both psychologically and practical in nature,” writes Dan Kennedy in his memoir, My Unfinished Business. “Most people undervalue themselves, their services, their products, poorly package and present those things, and underestimate what the market will pay. It is vital to grasp that we set our own prices.” (Emphasis added.)

Price is elastic. I learned this first-hand. And I’m glad I did—it was the most lucrative lesson of all.

Conclusion

Wisdom is rarely accumulated overnight. 

We need time to gain an objective head, find a meaning that empowers us, and accept and internalize that new narrative, without our old beliefs resisting and pulling us back into old thinking.

It’s challenging and frustrating, of course. But its effort well-spent. And it’s something we can all benefit from—if we’re willing to kill our egos to gain a new perspective. 

Notes

[1] “Subtract wasted effort to achieve more with less effort” is a quote from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits.