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The Book in One Sentence
- It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
The Five Big Ideas
- You are in control of your thoughts, your impulse, your will to get and your will to avoid.
- What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgments on events.
- Don’t blame others for hindering or disturbing or distressing you; blame your own judgments.
- Never say of anything, “I lost it,” but say, “I gave it back.”
- Behave in life as you would at a party.
A Manual For Living Summary
In our power are thought, impulse, will to get and will to avoid, and, in a word, everything which is our own doing.
“You are but an impression, and not at all what you seem to be.” Then test it by those rules that you possess; and first by this—the chief test of all—“Is it concerned with what is in our power or with what is not in our power?” And if it is concerned with what is not in our power, be ready with the answer that it is nothing to you.
What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgments on events.
Don’t blame others for hindering or disturbing or distressing you; blame your own judgments. To accuse others of our own misfortunes is a sign we need to educate ourselves. To accuse ourselves shows that our education has begun; to accuse neither ourselves nor others shows that our education is complete.
“Ask not that events should happen as you will, but let your will be that events should happen as they do, and you shall have peace.”
When anything happens to you, always remember to turn to yourself and ask what faculty you have to deal with it.
“Never say of anything, ‘I lost it,’ but say, ‘I gave it back.’ Has your child died? It was given back. Has your wife died? She was given back. Has your estate been taken from you? Was not this also given back? But you say, ‘He who took it from me is wicked.’ What does it matter to you through whom the Giver asked it back? As long as He gives it you, take care of it, but not as your own; treat it as passers-by treat an inn.”
Exercise yourself in what lies in your power. Each man’s master is the man who has authority over what he wishes or does not wish, to secure the one or to take away the other. Let him then who wishes to be free not wish for anything or avoid anything that depends on others; or else he is bound to be a slave.
Behave in life as you would at a party.
“Remember that you are an actor in a play, and the Playwright chooses the manner of it: if he wants it short, it is short; if long, it is long. If he wants you to act a poor man you must act the part with all your powers, and so if your part be a cripple or a magistrate or a plain man. For your business is to act the character that is given you and act it well; the choice of the cast is Another’s.”
“You can be invincible if you never enter on a contest where victory is not in your power. Beware then that when you see a man raised to honor or great power or high repute you do not let your impression carry you away. For if the reality of good lies in what is in our power, there is no room for envy or jealousy. And you will not wish to be praetor, or prefect or consul, but to be free; and there is but one way to freedom—to despise what is not in our power.”
“Remember that foul words or blows in themselves are no outrage, but your judgment that they are so. So when anyone makes you angry, know that it is your own thought that has angered you.”
“No one shall harm you, without your consent; you will only be harmed, when you think you are harmed.”
“When you imagine some pleasure, beware that it does not carry you away, like other imaginations. Wait a while, and give yourself pause. Next remember two things: how long you will enjoy the pleasure, and also how long you will afterwards repent and revile yourself. And set on the other side the joy and self-satisfaction you will feel if you refrain. And if the moment seems come to realize it, take heed that you be not overcome by the winning sweetness and attraction of it; set in the other scale the thought how much better is the consciousness of having vanquished it.”
“When you do a thing because you have determined that it ought to be done, never avoid being seen doing it, even if the opinion of the multitude is going to condemn you. For if your action is wrong, then avoid doing it altogether, but if it is right, why do you fear those who will rebuke you wrongly?”
“If you try to act a part beyond your powers, you not only disgrace yourself in it, but you neglect the part which you could have filled with success.”
“Instead of displaying your principles to the multitude, show them the results of the principles you have digested.”
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